This is it, guys! Father's Day is here, and it's YOUR DAY! Bust out the sandals and black dress socks, fire up the grill for breakfast, and don't even think about shaving, because this is how we're gonna roll today!
Father's Day is one of the few "Dad Days" we get each year, along with Superbowl Sunday and maaaaybe your birthday (which is sort of in the crapper when it falls on a weekday or if your kids have baseball and lacrosse games all day). But that's neither here nor there. Let's just enjoy this one day when the things you do right are applauded, and the things you do wrong are ignored.
So what are you and the kids doing today? Start at Home Depot or the PGA Superstore if you're looking to buy yourself something for Father's Day, but stay away from race tracks, massage parlors and casinos. Sure it's your day, but it's not your bachelor party, for Pete's sake. Think along the lines of miniature golf, the zoo or a carnival. Lunch at Hooter's is still up for discussion. But before we go anywhere, we've got Father's Day presents to open! Remember to act surprised that the kids even got you a gift, and to thank them dearly, regardless of what it is.
A bonus present from the ex wife??? Be careful here, because this could be a well-disguised letter from her lawyer. Or maybe she got crafty and sent you a piece of paper with the word "Clue" written on it. But assuming that's not the case, you should probably thank her at some point today for her part in making you a father.
Pack the cooler full of sodas, juice bags, cookies and popcicles, and figure out what you're doing today, because you're probably the odds-on favorite in Vegas to tire-out and call for an afternoon nap before your kids do. Whatever you have planned, remember that Father's Day is your opportunity to do things that used to make your ex wife cringe. So leave the toilet seat up, sing the Spongebob Square Pants theme song with the windows rolled down, let your daughter pull your finger, and teach your son to say "Hubba, hubba" in the presence of attractive women.
By the time Monday rolls around, all the hoopla will be over. But you'll still be a dad, and that makes every day your day.
