Elmhurst's Connie Lee Empowers Others Through Lessons Learned From Her Own Painful Experiences

Life has a habit of presenting momentous challenges to us when we least expect it. Grief, denial, indecision and anger are all natural and healthy reactions to these challenges. But when we become stuck in the depths of these reactions and can't move past them, they can define the quality of our lives.

Elmhurst resident Connie Lee can identify firsthand with being grabbed—and held—by despair. After years of experiencing tragedies and obstacles, one day she simply could not get out of bed. She couldn't face another day of her life.

Lee has had more tragedies and setbacks than one should be allowed. After abuse and dysfunctional family relationships growing up, a bad first marriage, a car accident, multiple miscarriages, two cancer diagnoses, financial difficulties and more, her life had run off the rails.

"I knew something had to change. I was emotionally paralyzed," she said. "I reached out for help that day."

Lee grabbed the phone book and called a therapist—the first listing she could find nearby. She recalls this being an incredible effort.

"I told her (the therapist) some of the pain I was feeling and that I really needed help," Connie said. "She said she was going into a session and that she'd call me back in 45 minutes."

Lee waited by the phone, checking the clock constantly, like she was hanging on to a ledge waiting for someone to come and rescue her.

But that call never came.

Lee cried and cried, but something made her call another therapist, who asked her if she had plans to hurt herself. After hemming and hawing with the therapist, Lee booked an appointment. While the sessions were difficult, Lee started to see a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. She soon made an important realization.

"I had an 'aha' moment: I realized that by doing nothing, I am still making a decision in my life," she said. "I could choose to be a victim or a victor."

And thus began her personal transformation.

Lee, who runs The Power to Live website and blog, now uses her past experiences to help empower others. She has written a book and home study course, and she coaches clients and conducts teleseminars and speaking engagements, where she delivers her powerful message: You are in control of your life and only you are responsible for the choices you make and their resulting consequences.

Lee acknowledges that her journey was by no means easy. She attended therapy and group sessions. She read as many self-help books as possible.

"I'm an avid reader of biographies, so I knew of many public figures that had redefined their lives in spite of challenges," Lee said. "I tried to learn from their experiences as well."

She set small goals and action steps for herself. She also set boundaries with others, demanding to be treated the way she desired.

"Every relationship should have love, honesty, trust, respect and accountability. I commit to bring this to every relationship, but I also now expect others to do the same thing," she said.

It was a long journey, but Lee successfully made it through to the other side. She is now in a loving and healthy relationship with her husband. She has gone from being morbidly obese and unhealthy to fit and active. She strength trains, boxes and belly dances. She's even hiked the Andes Mountains. 

She doesn't live in fear anymore. Instead, she challenges herself to live outside her comfort zone.

Most important, though, is that she chooses not to define herself by the challenges life has thrown at her. Lee believes they are simply "blips on the radar screen of my life" and views them as opportunities for huge learning experiences.

"So many people float around throughout their life like a cork in water, letting every wave control their direction," she said. "Instead, I hope to help people take control of their own lives and live out their passions and dreams."

Connie Lee's free book, The Power to Live Manifesto, and other resources are available here.