First Day Butterflies

A new school year brings hope, promises, clean slates, new beginnings, and a bit of anxiety.  And that goes for parents as well as students.

Savvy parents put their anxiety on the back burner so that they can focus on helping their children transition to school. Kids have gotten used to a summer schedule that involved different activities and a generally more laid back vibe. Extended daylight was an added bonus that let children as well as parents play longer. So it’s no surprise that one of the biggest adjustments is changing the home schedule to ensure that students and parents get out the door on time. Tip #1: Don’t wait until the first day to set an earlier bedtime and program the alarm clock. Have a couple of “practice” days before the official first day of school.

Students attending a school for the first time are often anxious about finding their way and making friends, but this can also be a concern for returning students in a large school. For some reason, parents take on the anxiety of their children (it’s normal), but follow Tip #2: Avoid showing any signs of anxiety when you’re talking to your child about their school fears. This is one of those times when you really have to be the adult who is reassuring and positive. If your child sees worry in your face, it’s all over because you’ve just confirmed that he was absolutely right in being afraid to go to school.

Providing a sense of comfort for your child (and you) is really what it’s all about. Tip #3: Walk or drive the route to school a few days before school begins to give the child some familiarity with the route and role play “bus" with the younger ones who will be taking a bus. Older kids appreciate walking the halls to find their classrooms, which often happens at orientations geared to this, and high school freshmen need to know that most of the stories they’ve heard about are pure myth.

And those little ones who can’t seem to separate from their mom or dad? Reassure them, talk about all the good stuff they’ll see and do, and tell them you’ll be waiting to hear all about it after school. Tip #4: Don’t tell them how much you’ll miss them (even though you will), because sometimes they’re worried about you. And if things really deteriorate, say your good-byes at home and engage the help of a friend to drop your child off at school.

Staying for lunch is always a big worry, whether you’re doing it for the first time or entering a new school. We all find comfort in knowing what awaits us, and this is especially true for children.  At the elementary and middle school levels, teachers and staff are well aware of the importance of helping students learn the ropes and they spend time teaching them as well as checking in on them.

First graders are notorious for taking a long time to eat. Part of the problem is their excitement about talking with friends at the lunch table. The other part is learning the routine. Try Tip #5: Pack a lunch and play “school lunch” at home (or if practicing “hot lunch,” serve them the food and allow them to select from fresh fruits and veggies). See how well your child can open containers. See how much food your child actually eats during 25 minutes while simultaneously holding a conversation with you. Teach your child that the table manners you expect from him at home are exactly the same at school.

If your child brings a lunch to school, ask what she wants to eat. After witnessing so many whole sandwiches, fruits, and snacks discarded by kids who claim that they don't like what their parents give them for lunch, I firmly believe that parents should get their kid’s input (and help) when packing lunches. Just because you pack it doesn't mean they'll eat it!

Keeping a fairly consistent routine at home once the school year is under way is important because it helps children know what is expected. Tip #6: Designate a spot to do homework that has easy access to the necessary tools (paper, pencils, computer). The younger the child, the more important it is for this spot to be within a caregiver's sightline. Establish a time for homework completion such as after school or after dinner, whatever works for your family's and your child's needs. Most important is keeping it as consistent as possible.

A consistent bedtime routine (and time) helps kids relax and get settled. Tip #7: Figure out what your "tuck in" routine will be and try to stick to it. Your kids will come to depend on it. Young kids love checklists (with stickers), so try using these for any tasks your kids are trying to skip or avoid (like brushing teeth). Follow this last tip and your kids will find comfort in knowing what to expect. And once you get the kids in bed, you can take some time to decompress and relax—before you start all over the next day!