Best of Craigslist: Castle Bunk Beds, 150 Panties (Don’t Ask)

By Darren McRoy
The following items and postings were found on Craigslist for the DuPage County area. Note: Patch has no control over the status of these posts on Craigslist and how long they remain available.

Castle Bunk Beds

Got monsters under the bed? Well, they wouldn’t dare assault this impervious two-mattress fortress, available for $1,800 from a Glen Ellyn seller. The castle includes all sorts of exterior and interior storage space, and “your Heir to the Throne will to go to sleep like a royal charge.” Click through for the list of what’s included, though I don’t see anything about a proper dungeon for time-outs.

150 Panties (Don’t Ask)

A Burr Ridge seller is asking $300 for a lot of 150 panties, most of them new, and “some gently used, but clean.” Well, that’s reassuring. Er, seller person, I have some questions… so many questions, so many, many stupid questions… What’s that? “Don’t ask stupid questions.” … Okay, you’re the boss here… the boss with 150 panties… some used…

Terrifying Lincoln Face Casting

A little research tells me that Abraham Lincoln had a life cast taken of his face and hands in 1860, just before becoming president. A copy of that casting is available from a Downers Grove seller (make an offer), but it… doesn’t include eyes, giving it a blind, dead, hollow, creepy-as-all-get-out look. Add on the disembodied hands, and you get an eerie cross between the Earl of Gloucester and Rayman.

Petrified Wood, 130 Pounds

How did this tree get so petrified? Well, there was this Hitchcock marathon the other night, and… sorry, that was awful. Actually, it takes about 100 years for wood to petrify like this, so this guy hasn’t been a tree since Prohibition. An Elmhurst seller is offering the naturally weathered lump for $525, for whatever use you might have for it.

‘Yo Gabba Gabba!’ Brobee Cutout

I’ve never seen this Yo Gabba Gabba! show, but several parents I know say their kids love it, and if Wikipedia is to be believed, it’s pretty good (and a little bit trippy). If your little one is a fan, maybe he/she will take to this party cutout of the baby gabba and drummer Brobee, plus a few other party decorations, going for $75 out of Woodridge.

1933 Mickey Mouse Radio

Amazingly, only five years after Mickey Mouse’s 1928 debut, he was already being depicted in woodcarvings on the bulky radios of the era. Even more amazing, one of those radios survives, and is being offered for $1,300 from a Naperville seller. No word on if the radio actually, y’know, works, but even if it doesn’t, talk about a unique end table, right?