Best of Craigslist: $600 Rambo Action Figures, Bondage Modeling Gig

The following items and postings were found on Craigslist for the Elmhurst, Wheaton and Glen Ellyn area. Note: Patch has no control over the status of these posts on Craigslist and how long they remain available.

Got an Extra Female Sugar Glider?

You know how it is, right? Sometimes you just have a few too many female sugar gliders (Petaurus breviceps, a gliding Aussie possum) sitting around. Well, you're in luck, because this fellow from Elmhurst is looking for a mate for his young male, who apparently likes "black beauties" or "white face blondes." We know it's sad to part with your possum, but never fear: he "can assure you she would be going to a good home with a large cage and lots of attention."

Unpaid Modeling for "Shibari Bondage Book"

How'd you like to be all tied up on someone's coffee table? Well, no, not literally. You'd be in a coffee-table book. Well, actually, you might be on a coffee table, too, as this Wheaton poster's "concept is creating fetish imagery in unexpected places, such as the kitchen, an office, balcony, or even right outside in semi-public locations." Apparently you can keep your clothes on, too. It doesn't pay, but you get credit, tearsheets, the files of the shoot and, best of all, a copy of the book.

Please Pay My Student Loans

"I know this is odd," Patrick from Lombard writes, "but I don't know where else to turn." Patrick says he is "drowning under student loan debt" and needs help. So, um, if there's anyone out there who wants to give a bunch of money to a stranger for free, get in touch with poor Patrick. Sounds like he could use it.

40+ Pounds of Legos

Why not buy your kids' toys the way you buy your produce: by the pound! This massive vat of Legos (plus two new sets) is being offered for $250 by a Wheaton parent who didn't want to drag it to a new home. Star Wars and SpongeBob are both represented. The seller promises "no generics" and is also throwing in a "Lego Air City Suitcase," which "might even have some collector value."

Mouth Model with Removable Teeth

This creepy-looking mouth model reminds me of the crazy Joker Teeth from Batman: Arkham Asylum, but it's actually a legitimate dental-training device, brand-new and in its original box, being sold out of Lombard for $150. According to a linked website, it's a "Soft Gingiva Dentoform" that retails for $240, and the teeth are removable. Traumatize your kids, or turn them into dentists: it's up to you!

$600 for Two Rambo Action Figures

"Price is firm," says this Elmhurst seller with "mint-condition" figures of John Rambo (Sylvester Stallone) and Col. Sam Trautman (Richard Crenna) from the Rambo film series, yours for just $600. They're being sold as a set, for die-hard Rambo fans, I guess. But even if that's not you, you should still click the link just to enjoy a .gif of a machine-gunning cat.

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