We have officially reached the Elmhurst city limit for the number pets allowed within a single-family dwelling. The addition of our fourth and final rescue has caused some of our friends to screw their faces up in horror, barely able to disguise their contempt. “Why would you want a kitten?” one friend asked. “Do you know how long cats live? How will you travel after your kids go to college?” Some people take our decision very personally. “I am not getting a cat! No way!” another said defensively, as if we had suggested he do the same. Some just looked stunned, unable to decide if we are …
“He asked me for a cell phone for his birthday but I said no,” my friend confided about her sixth-grader’s recent request for the must-have item on most middle schoolers’ mental checklist. “I’m not saying never, but he is just not ready right now.” Cell phones in back pockets are to our kids what having a plastic comb stuffed into our Levis was to our generation: an adolescent accoutrement without which they feel naked. All three of my kids (they're a little older) have cell phones, so I bit my tongue and held back from convincing my friend one way or another. After all, this woman is one …
The new school year ushered in some time for me to think about myself again. And not a moment too soon. My daughter wrapped her arms around me the other night and said softly, “Your butt feels like applesauce, Mom.” I realized that it had been some time since I had put my needs first and headed down the Prairie Path for a run. So on Monday morning, with the first golden silence in my head for months, I laced up my worn-out shoes and headed out the door. A new school year is liberating for most parents, and my freedom was palpable. If autumn was an hour of a mother’s day, September …
If you are reading this column, you have survived another summer with your children. Congratulations! You have endured sibling rivalry, dysfunctional family gatherings and party times with girlfriends that left you saying to yourself the following morning, “Wait, I have to take care of you people again? I thought I was a party diva!” while folding someone else’s underpants for the 12,000th time. You undoubtedly had amazing summer experiences that caused you to gaze at your children like little tomato plants coming into full, ripe redness just waiting to be plucked. Through the bickering, the…
I had no idea 10 years ago, when the name "Mediocre Mom" popped into my head as I was folding laundry, that it would become such a meaningful part of my life and elicit so many reactions from readers, friends and family. Some people take it in stride without a second thought. “Ha! That is hilarious!” they say, and go on their merry way. Some people look at me with grave concern, ready to dig deep into their pockets to pay for weeks of therapy to heal my suffering self esteem. (I heard through the grapevine that a reader once whispered to a friend, “Why on earth does she call herself THAT…
Finding fun in a dysfunctional family isn’t easy. I have tried it all this summer. My intentions were always good. Sometimes human nature got in my way. I put up a badminton net to play with my kids so they wouldn’t sit in front of the TV all day. Anyone watching would have thought we were the picture of perfect suburban bliss. But our first game ended with me running in the house yelling at my son, “I gave you life! You can’t give me the point when my birdie lands on the line?” I took my daughter shopping to spend her babysitting money. After a few hours of low blood sugar levels we …
As if on cue, a cavalcade of offers to share the last few weeks of summer fun came rushing in during the past week. Realizing the end was near, I managed to pack in three trips to the pool with the kids, a girls' night in, a trip to the city with an old friend and as many walks and bike rides as the weather would permit. Most of these things cost money. Even if the event, per se, wasn’t pricey, I managed to put a spin on the day that added to the cost: A few dollars here on a patio drink, a few there on a quick bite between meals or a trip for ice cream. All this summertime fun caused our …
Well, parents, the summer is half over. If you are anything like me, you are scratching your head, wondering why the picture in your mind is not matching the reality in your house. There were so many things I was going to do, and so far the reality is far from what I had imagined. I have not visited our public pool a single time. I have not gone berry picking. I have not gone to the great city of Chicago with my children to point out the buildings of interest and lakefront beauty. I have not cleaned out our basement and I did not plant annuals in my window boxes. So what have we been up to…
I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t have the strength to watch the Jaycee Lee Dugard interview with Diane Sawyer last week. Jaycee shared the story of her 18 years in captivity after being kidnapped by a convicted rapist and his wife. Beginning at age 11, she was tortured, raped and forced to give birth to two children in a backyard prison. If I could barely stomach the interview, how did this young woman survive the ordeal with her poise and optimism so solidly intact? “The good guys win,” she and her mother, who seem inseparable now, said together at the end of the interview. It has …
One of the greatest benefits of being married to a foreigner is the ability to take notes from his culture, borrowing bits and pieces to weave into the story of our lives. We recently returned home from a trip to Wales, and my head is still filled with panoramic views of sheep grazing on rolling hills and baskets of bright pink and purple petunias blooming against the freshly painted white stucco walls of a 400-year-old pub. And stillness—sweet stillness—everywhere. Traveling always cultivates my soul, providing rich, new soil for growth, but the return to the daily atmosphere can feel …
People in the United Kingdom would often ask me how on earth Americans survive with so little vacation time each year. “You are supposed to work to live, not live to work,” my friend said to me one day while we hunkered down in her cozy cottage with steaming mugs of tea. I really had no answer and no defense. But after a decade of enjoying four to six weeks of holiday a year, the yearning to be back on U.S. soil was too strong to bear. So we moved back to Chicago—back to the daily grind. Life back home has been a good fit for our family for the most part. But getting used to the decrease in…
It’s pet adoption season in our house, and I doubt we will get through the summer without adding another adorable rescue dog to our family. I know what you’re thinking, because I have thought it too. "Don’t do it! Why would you want the extra work? The stress? The transition?" If I could answer that question logically, I probably wouldn’t have three children with a man I moved across the world with, after knowing him two months. I have been known to follow my heart. And this aging heart wants another baby or three. A puppy will have to suffice. My husband has the patience of Job and has …
Ah, the highs and lows of summer are here. Taking a peaceful stroll with my husband to Jewel for a loaf of bread in shorts and a T-shirt feels like a vacation. Down the street, a mom in flip flops hits the volleyball back and forth rhythmically with her mini-me daughter, producing a mesmerizing lullaby to usher in the season. My youngest child and her friend spend hours perfecting their choreographed dance number in the front yard before collapsing into one another in a fit of giggles on the grass, their bare feet blackened. “I just need somebody to love!” plays on the iHome as the street …
It’s hard to get excited by the Tour de France this year when my son’s sports hero appears to have hit the skids after another round of allegations that he cheated throughout his career by taking performance-enhancing drugs. Lance Armstrong’s right hand man, Tyler Hamilton, claimed during a federal investigation that his cycling leader not only took PEDs, including erythropoietin (EPO), he tested positive for them and even paid off anti-doping officials. Hamilton, who turned over his own 2004 cycling medal after admitting drug use, was granted immunity by prosecutors. My teenage son and I …
Another school year has ended. You may be feeling jubilant, delighted and find yourselves skipping through the aisles of Jewel telling anyone who will listen that your babies will be nestled in the warm folds of your loving embrace for the next three months. If you are feeling this way I suggest that you are in the minority. Summer, a microcosm of our lives, is more likely to be a combination of highs, lows, joy, ennui, adventure, peace, hard work, relaxation, agony and ecstasy. As I coach myself through the chaotic changes that are about to flood through the open gates of my peaceful home…
If you have suffered a mild panic attack in the weeks leading up to your children’s summer vacation, you are not alone. It seems that every mother I know experiences ritualistic anxiety each May. It’s not that we don’t adore our kids. It’s the change over to their full-time company that shakes us up a bit. The sibling rivalry, sound of Nickelodeon and the ice cream blobs on your kitchen counter that seemed innocuous in small doses take on new meaning as you calculate their value 24/7 with no breaks. This is why pre-summer vacation I begin my annual pilgrimage to the full-time employment …
The last year has marked the end of so many eras I can’t keep track. Larry King ended his reign on CNN. Ancient soap opera stars turned in their tiaras. Oprah will no longer be tutoring our tears and Mayor Daley retired 20+ years of leadership over the great city of Chicago. In world news our Navy SEALs dethroned Osama with a little help from Obama. A trumped Trump bowed out of a race nobody believed he would run. Kings and queens are dropping from public scrutiny as our needs change. Even the Terminator himself hung his beastly head as he admitted fathering a child with a member of …
Look no further than Mother’s Day and Father’s Day cards to examine the differences between men and women. I first became curious last summer on Father’s Day when browsing cards at our local grocery store. There were three general varieties: the fart joke, the serene (nature/glass or wine/golf) card and the No. 1 Dad card. It was the final card, the No. 1 Dad card, which caused me to hunt for a pattern. Naturally, my husband received this card. He also received the No. 1 Dad T-shirt, which was folded up and fit nicely into the No. 1 Dad hat. This may seem like overkill, but if the truth …
We will always remember what we were doing the historic day United States forces killed Osama bin Laden and ended a manhunt that began a decade ago. We also remember what we were doing on that fateful September day in 2001. Due to the time difference, it was an ordinary day after school in England when I turned on the TV for my kids to watch cartoons. As they took off their backpacks, I dropped to my knees and cried. The kids didn’t understand and rubbed my back to comfort me. I felt so far from home and wanted nothing more than to be on U.S. soil. In the weeks that followed, it was very …
Most parents want to give their children something they never had. This can be something tangible, like matching socks or a house with good plumbing. Sometimes we want to give our kids intangible things, like our attention, praise or a positive college experience. A combined list of these things comprises the mission statement for our families. Whether we realize it or not, this mission statement is what drives us as we work, cook, carpool and do laundry. It also explains why, at any given moment, if we feel everything we are working for is undervalued, we hit the skids and fly off the rails…
