Maybe There's Too Much Violence on the Food Network

LA GRANGE, Jan. 9—A woman living in the 400 block of south Edgewood Avenue told police that between 6:30 and 10:30 p.m. someone threw ketchup and bologna on her front porch, and hamburgers, french fries, salads and other food items around her yard.

Ideal Fruit Cocktail for the Next Block Party

DOWNERS GROVE, Jan. 9—A resident came to the police station to report vandalism at his home in the 7100 block of Matthias Road. The resident brought in two tangerines taped to a banana, which he said he found on his porch after his doorbell rang the night before. He said in August of 2010, a neighbor and friends were playing basketball and left water bottles in the street. He asked them to pick them up and the next night someone left an ignited bag of dog excrement on his porch. His home was also TP'd in December. The man did not want police to talk to neighbors because he gets along well with them.

Creepy Clouseau with No ID to Show

LA GRANGE—A woman told police she has been bothered by a man claiming to be a Chicago police officer. The Chicago Police Department told La Grange police it has no pending case against the woman. The woman said the man came to her door about 1-1/2 months ago claiming to be a police officer. This month, he went to her workplace, and asked about her hours, but was not given any information by employees. When asked by employees for identification, he refused. The man was described as 40 to 50 years old, with a white beard and driving a grey, four-door car.

Some Days Start Better than Others

LA GRANGE, Jan. 10—A woman walking on Brewster Avenue between Calendar and Ashland avenues reported someone yelled obscenities at her from a yard at about 8:15 a.m.

When It Really is Last Call

ST. CHARLES, Jan. 8—Police said a man was ordered “eight or nine” times to leave the area behind a closed bar. According to the report, the man had walked out of a downtown bar with a group of friends. The officer took away the man's bottle of beer and gave him a verbal warning. The man and his friends left the area, but five minutes later they were back. The officer ordered them to leave and the man began to argue, according to the report. Christopher Richard Kus, 23, of 38W820 Ridgeline Rd., was arrested and charged with resisting a police officer.

The Secret to Hanging on to Your Cash

DOWNERS GROVE, Jan. 5—A loss prevention employee at Marshalls watched a 68-year-old man allegedly take a hat, gloves and two scarves valued at about $40 from the shelves, remove the tags and place the items in his coat pockets, according to police.

The man was stopped by the employee after he left the store without paying. The employee told police the man would not give his name and said he had no money or identification.

When police arrived and spoke to the man, he said he lived in Cicero and took the bus to Downers Grove. But a search revealed his identification with a Woodridge address, $300 in cash and keys to his car, which was in the parking lot. Petar V. Venkov was charged with retail theft.

Trip to a Muffler Shop Might Cure It All

BURR RIDGE, Jan. 3—A man was pulled over and cited near Clarendon Hills Rd. and I-55 for having a loud muffler. The man was in possession of a prescription pain pill that was given to him by a relative to relieve headaches. Officers let the driver go with out charge but reminded him that it is illegal to take prescription medication that is prescribed to someone else.

His Own Way to Ring in the New Year

GENEVA, Jan. 1—Police said a 21-year-old man yelled at employees in the customer area of Kay Jewelers, 414 Commons Drive, at around 2:05 p.m., then left the store, got into his car and “drove his vehicle at a high rate of speed toward the front glass door in such an unreasonable manner as to alarm and disturb and provoke a breach of the peace.” Police issued the man, from Elburn, a notice to appear in court on charges of disorderly conduct.

Somebody Needs to Make a Confession

WHEATON, Dec. 24—A resident of the Loretto Convent, 1600 Somerset Lane, Wheaton, reported three stolen lug nuts from the front passenger-side wheel of her car. According to the police report, they were stolen between 8 a.m. Friday, Dec. 24 and 5 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 25 while the car was parked at Loretto Convent or St. Daniel’s Church. The missing lug nuts caused approximately $700 damage to the vehicle, a blue 2002 Ford Focus, police said.

Patch reports on law enforcement activity in our town, using information provided by official agencies. Persons charged with a crime, or issued a citation for violation of a local ordinance, are presumed innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. If you or a family member are charged with a crime or cited for a violation, and the charge or citation is subsequently adjudicated, we encourage you to notify the editor of this Patch site and we will do follow-up reporting on the case.